Children of Single-Parent Homes/Two-Parent Homes

What does a single parent do when their child asks the question WHY DOES MY DADDY NOT STAY WITH US? Well, my daughter asked me this question when she was five years old. My first reaction was a poker face and a dumb-founded look; I was wondering WHERE WAS THIS COMING FROM? Kids are smarter than we think. At an early age, my daughter noticed our family dynamics compared to her friend, Diamond, who had both parents in the home. I did explain to her that some families don't have both parents, but that doesn't mean that there is something wrong. I talked to my daughter about the different family structures. I feel that my daughter was longing for her father to be there waiting to hold her in his arms, when she came from school, this was something she saw Diamond's father do day after day.I often wonder does having a parent absent from a child life's affect their stage of nurturing and their emotional development? Time and Time again, I have reassured my daughter that I can love her just as much as two parents can. Single parents have to be that nurturing and guiding factor in their child's life.We have to be the one their waiting to give them that HUG!! at the end of the day.

Chasing Down the Non-Custodial Parent,Financially and Time Spent With the Child

When I say chasing down the custodial parent, I don't mean literally running them over with a car. ( in some instances, that what you may feel like doing !!) I am referring to parents who have custody of their child/children that have to get the legal system to chase the non-custodial parent down just to take care of a their child/children.

I have had first hand experiecence with this chasing the non-custodial parent down for fifteen years. Suprisingly, I have been to family court with my daughter's father eleven time; each time leads to a dead end. I have often asked myself, "Who's side is the court system really on?" I have come to the conclusion that some of these parents are stuck in the adolescent stage; they still need to be nurtured. Money is not the only issue, the quality of time that is being spent is an even bigger issue. I think that some chldren value spending time with both parents, but that is not always the case.When the other parent has to make the non-custodial parent spend time with a child, that is a problem within itself or when the other parent gives the child false hope, I can fill up a shoe box full of false hope promises my daughter's father has promised her, only leaving behind a mess for me to clean up. I don't think that some parents realize how these unaccepting practices leave open wounds on a child that leave permanet scars; some of these children develop trust issues later on. The only thing I have to say is be careful what you do and say to children, they mimic our every action. Children are a blessing and should be treated as such.

Demographic Trends in Single-Parent Families

It appears that the United States has the highest percent of single-parent families (34% in 1998) (family.jrank.crg0). Most single-parent homes are headed by women. I watched a show the other night on MTV called True Life; this episode was about single-parenting. To my suprise, there was a man on the show that was raising his five children on his own; it appears that the mother was strung out on drugs and she was not properly taking of the children. In my opinion this was a demographic transition, because most people expect to see women taking on the role of single-parent.
In watching this show it was very evident that one particular girl was not stable enought be raising a child at the age of eighteen; she was going through an identity crisis and appeared to be having problems establishing her role as a mother. The young lady did not realize that parenting is a interactive process, with reciprocal parent-child and child-parent influences (Maccoby,2002). As I continued to watch the show, I came to the conclusion that the demographic trend was births to unwed mothers was the consequence of unplanned, accidental pregnancy coupled with the decision not to marry. To say the least these young adults were not ready to be parents and needed some coping skills as well as community outreach resources. This trend is not decreasing,it is rapidly increasing; there is a need for more educational programs to help young adults adjust to this life changing event; this can help young adults develop parenting efficacy and may help them overcome environmental conditions and improve thier child's well-being.

Single-Parent Families-The Effects On Children

" In the United States, the effects of single-parent family life on children fall into two categories: 1. those attributed to lower socioeconomic status of single parents and 2. the short-term consequences of divorce that moderate over time. Four factors are predictive of U.S. children's adjustment to the divorce of their parents: the passage of time, the quality of children's relationship with their residential parent, the level of conflict between parents, and the economic standing of the children's residential family". (family.jrank.org)
Not only are children born into the one-parent home, they also come into one parent homes by divorce. Some studies state that children of one-parent homes are at risk of antisocial behavior, aggression, anxiety, and school problems than children in two parent homes. I feel that some of these problems are a result of unavailable resources and adult supervision; many of the negative effects disappear when there is inadequate supervision, income,and continutity in social networks.

Society feels that the common explanation for the problem found among children in single parents has been the absence of a male adult inthe family, What's the explanation for those children being raised by a male? In my opinion, parents have to be parents, take on the role of parenting, not as " THE FRIEND" I feel that some parents are not raising their children, but the children are raising themselves, to be a parent, you have to act like one. How a child acts depends on their upbringing.