Saturday, October 25, 2008
Children of Single-Parent Homes/Two-Parent Homes
What does a single parent do when their child asks the question WHY DOES MY DADDY NOT STAY WITH US? Well, my daughter asked me this question when she was five years old. My first reaction was a poker face and a dumb-founded look; I was wondering WHERE WAS THIS COMING FROM? Kids are smarter than we think. At an early age, my daughter noticed our family dynamics compared to her friend, Diamond, who had both parents in the home. I did explain to her that some families don't have both parents, but that doesn't mean that there is something wrong. I talked to my daughter about the different family structures. I feel that my daughter was longing for her father to be there waiting to hold her in his arms, when she came from school, this was something she saw Diamond's father do day after day.I often wonder does having a parent absent from a child life's affect their stage of nurturing and their emotional development? Time and Time again, I have reassured my daughter that I can love her just as much as two parents can. Single parents have to be that nurturing and guiding factor in their child's life.We have to be the one their waiting to give them that HUG!! at the end of the day.
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2 comments:
I agree that single parents have to reassure their children that it doesn't take a two parent household to help nurture them and show them that someone cares. I can not recall whether I asked my mother as a child why my father did not live with us. My mother and father had many domestic issues so I probably was glad that he wasn't in our home. As long as a father take initiative to be in his child's life and continued to reassure the child that he don't have to be in the home to show that child nurturance than the child probably would not notice that anything was missing from their life.
I have been a single parent for 14 years and I must admit that my I can not recall a time when my children have asked me that question. I think that my children have witnessed children that are in the same predicament as them, with no father in the home. So, they have become accustomed to not having a father figure in the their lives and since most of their families and friends are don't have fathers then it just seems like normal to them. What I have told my children is that I love them and that their father loves them as well. I tell them that there are all different types of families and that no matter what they do have a father. They are not fatherless and they are without love. In the end, children will learn that its not the number of parents that matter, it is the amount of love that is given.
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